Introducing champaignr, a Blockstream bot that helps you toast "champaign" whenever you're trying to spin something objectively bad as good like high fees and slow transaction times.

Blockstream as a company appears to be failing. The Blockstream team page has been taken down, investors appear to be withdrawing, Greg Maxwell has left to devote more time to his true passions, trolling on Reddit and ruining Blockchains (he's neckdeep in Monero now, not just Bitcoin), and Adam Back apparently spends all of his time buying these never-ending Bitcoin dips. This sort of chaos is enough to make you wonder what Blockstream even does anymore.

Wonder no more! Remember when Greg Maxwell toasted champaign to what were at the time median $34 transaction fees? Remember when #NO2X all but guaranteed the BTC chain would forever be crippled to 1 MB, meaning with a modicum of popularity it is completely unusable as a payment system, and everyone aligned with Blockstream and Core nearly broke their arms high-fiving each other and patting themselves on the back?

All this time spent celebrating bad things was killing Blockstream's productivity, so the geniuses over at Blockstream designed a sleek new bot to automate the whole process. Now anytime some objectively bad news comes about for Bitcoin Core we can celebrate with Core/Blockstream by typing:

u/champaignr toast "<whatever you want to celebrate>"

Here's me celebrating Bitcoin Core's high fees and slow transactions as a design-feature with One Meg Greg Maxwell himself as an example of how to use this bot.

submitted by /u/Zectro
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from Bitcoin - The Internet of Money http://ift.tt/2Cd5Rt1